First Chapter of Lena's Fall
CHAPTER ONE
The world is a funny place where anything can happen. An oyster can turn a tiny grain of sand into a pearl. A rock can be the outer shell of a precious gem. A cracked, bruised heart can be made whole again by true love. –A.C. Wilson
Lena thought to herself as she sat there with her book open in her lap and her finger crooked to hold her spot. She wondered how dumb people had to be to believe in love. It didn’t heal all hurts. It couldn’t. She knew first hand just how much of a fairy tale the idea of forever really was. Hadn’t Garrett Johnson once professed his undying love to her? Hell, he had even offered to marry her and in the wave of young stupidity, Lena had laughed and turned him aside.
The joke was on her. She had only just catered his wedding rehearsal and sat in the family’s home as he pledged his heart to Rayne Randall, the town’s veterinarian. Oh yes! The joke was definitely on her. Lena couldn’t help but grimace at the drastic and fitting turn of events. She flicked the long strands of her blond hair over her shoulder and dog-eared the page of her book for later. She was tired of sappy love stories anyway.
“Maybe in the real world you can only count on yourself.” Lena huffed as she tossed her throw blanket from her lap and got up from the overstuffed couch. Her apartment was small. It took her only a couple of seconds to cross from one side to the other. She reasoned that it was only she that lived there so why have a big house for one person. It might be practical, but it wasn’t what she wanted. All those dreams she had had as a teenager starting out in the world, well they were roughly shoved into a box and into the furthest corner of her heart.
“Dreams have no place in my reality.” She slid her fuzzy slippers across the parched, wood floor of her apartment. “You would think I’d learn.”
Lena stripped her t-shirt over her head as she walked into the bathroom. She thought that she would be used to the changes by now. It had only been a couple of years. Lena’s eyes stared back at herself in the oval, bathroom mirror. She avoided mirrors for the most part. That tidbit of information would totally shock the good people of Hot Springs, South Dakota. It might also surprise them to note that her push-up bra was nude.
No attention-seeking, flamboyant, sexy bra.
It was the same reason she hadn’t been intimate with a man in over three years. Lena was in the prime of her sexuality and she couldn’t bring herself to share the scars that only she could see. Lena wasn’t ready for rejection. It was easier to be the perfect, slutty young woman everyone in Hot Springs assumed her to be. Proving them wrong seemed to be too much work and in the end, there could be more unwanted baggage.
Lena heard her cell phone ring from its perch on the arm of the couch. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath through her nose, and closed the bathroom door. She didn’t know what to say to him and it was likely she never would. Surely he would quit calling. It was over—whatever it really was.
***
Declan Marcos sat in the office of the Johnson Therapy Center staring at his mobile phone and almost wishing that it would ring. He knew it wouldn’t be the person he wanted to speak with though. No, she wouldn’t call him. He had made a nuisance of himself at Garrett Johnson’s wedding. One of the most inspiring nuptials he had ever attended and it had colored his enthusiasm for just such an office. The happily married couple’s future was what he wanted for his own. He wanted a partner that would stand beside him throughout the turmoil and joy a life could bring. Stupidly he had mentioned those thoughts to Lena McCoy, thus scaring her off. She hadn’t returned any of his calls. Not even a text message had been answered. Lena had disappeared off the proverbial map.
He sighed. Declan knew that he could hardly pass his words off as a generalization. Lena’s bottomless brown eyes had seen right through him and he had only just kept himself from proposing in earnest. He could be so lost when it came down to anything outside of what he wanted. Being in the Army had done that to him. He had vowed that he would live for himself and wouldn’t rely on anyone else to provide meaning to his life.
Mistake—a short sighted mistake.
Declan leaned back in his desk chair, the rollers sliding a bit on the plastic mat as his heels automatically came up on top of the desk. He scratched his head, still careful of the scar that came up behind his ear. He sighed and wondered if the PTSD had somehow addled his brain. Certainly the traumatic brain injury he had sustained made things a bit difficult and sometimes his memory was faulty. Physical injury scarred a person for the outside world and as accepting as society says it is to these deficiencies, it really comes down to the individual.
Declan knew that well. His scars were beacons to anyone looking for something to judge him by. It was the emotions that proved harder to tether. He took a deep breath to calm those feelings already heightened by what he prayed…what he hoped to be love.
“Don’t tell me you are holding down the chair?”
Bailey’s voice made him smile albeit grudgingly. She walked into the office with the day’s mail and Blake Phails right behind her. Since he had returned, the couple had picked up where they had left off in August. For only knowing each other a few months by phone and a few more months in person, Blake and Bailey really had something special. Declan was happy for them and envious at the same time.
“Just waiting on the phone to ring.” Declan joked, but Blake tipped his head to the side when Bailey had turned her back. Declan lifted a brow and indicated his mobile in his hand.
“Watched pots don’t boil.” Bailey’s sing song logic made Declan shake his head.
“What can I say? I’m without patience.”
Bailey turned to him, worry already apparent in the thin lines around her mouth. “You have more patience than anyone I know, Declan.”
“Usually I do, but not today. It is taking all my restraint not to hunt down my dove and find out exactly why she is ignoring me.” Declan was a serious man who masked it with light humor and strong patience. Bailey said he was the most patient and he prided himself on that virtue. It was just tough to know what to do. If he gave Lena space, would it mean she didn’t inspire the feelings he nearly professed for her? If he pounded on her door for an explanation, would it make him too afraid to examine the strength of his feelings?
“Lena McCoy.” Bailey’s voice held some wonder, but no question. Hot Springs residents had already assumed Declan had fallen into the temptress’ web. It was also assumed that many good men had traveled the same path before him.
“Yes.” Declan answered absently. He brought his eyes up to Blake, wondering what his friend was thinking. They had shared some similar military experiences and they also shared some emotional ones.
“How long has it been since you’ve heard from her?” Blake asked, taking a seat in the other rolling desk chair. Bailey perched on the corner of the desk. Declan flicked his phone on and looked at the screen.
“A week.”
“Whoa, a week?” Bailey looked shocked, her brows meeting her hairline as she looked at Blake.
“I think a week would be sufficient to put her thoughts in order. Maybe it is time to get in touch with her.” Blake shifted in his chair.
Bailey shook her head. “It really depends what the conversation was regarding and if she hasn’t spoken with you in a week, I would say the relationship is over.”
Bailey’s words hung in suspended animation between them. Declan couldn’t quite wrap his head around that logic, but could he fault it? Lena had many ways to get in touch and she hadn’t. Was it really over? Had it ever begun?
“You’ll never know if you don’t talk to her. I’ve never known Lena McCoy to mince words.” Blake looked down at the desk and Declan glanced down at his mobile again as if it might ring automatically. He almost prayed that it would just to put him out of his misery of wondering what the heck he was supposed to do.
“I need to know.” But I’m afraid to know it.
Both Bailey and Blake nodded in agreement.
